A Guide to Parenting Small Children, As Told Through Pictures

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what it’s like to parent small children. So I have compiled a photographic guide to better illustrate some of the things you may expect while attempting to shape your little ones into upstanding citizens.

They will have ZERO regard for your personal space.
They will have ZERO regard for your personal space. Peeing alone is pipe-dream. Say “adios” to showers that don’t involve a tiny person staring at you through the shower glass, often crying (Them, not you. Well, maybe you…)
They will not want to wear the clothes you pick out for them. In fact, the very thought of wearing jeans may garner a reaction you previously thought was only reserved for someone being forced to wear a garment made of needles.
They will not want to wear the clothes you pick out for them. In fact, the very thought of wearing jeans may garner a reaction you previously thought was only reserved for someone being forced to wear a garment made of venomous snakes.
Speaking of clothes, they reserve the right to remove any and all clothing at any time. Sometimes that means in the backyard, sometimes in the middle of a church service...
Speaking of clothes, they reserve the right to remove any and all clothing at any time. Sometimes that means in the backyard, sometimes in the middle of a church service…
When they are done with something, OMG, they are DONE! This includes, but is not limited to walking, eating, wearing shoes, and being in the car.
When they are done with something, OMG, they are DONE! This includes, but is not limited to walking, eating, wearing shoes, and being in the car.
They will force you to do ridiculous things such as attend and officiate a pony funeral.
They will force you to do ridiculous things such as attend and officiate a pony funeral.
They will not appreciate taking in the sites as much as you do on family vacations. While we're on the topic; traveling with children is not, in fact, a vacation. It is a trip. There is a difference.
They will not appreciate taking in the sites as much as you do on family vacations. While we’re on the topic; traveling with children is not, in fact, a vacation. It is a trip. There is a difference.
You are their jungle gym and your body and all your possessions are there for their entertainment purposes only.
You are their jungle gym and your body and all your possessions are there for their entertainment purposes only.
Be prepared to receive back any and all dirty looks you my have inadvertantly shot at your child...
Be prepared to receive back any and all dirty looks you my have inadvertently shot at your child…  Also, prepare for them to remember and continually repeat back anything inappropriate you may have said in their presence.
Despite all of this, you will still love them more than you could ever imagine.
Despite all of this, you will still love them more than you could ever imagine.

Feel free to share this with anyone else who can use a good laugh. Also, share this with any smug DINK (Dual Income, No Kids) friends you may have that are considering the journey into parenthood. It’s always fun to scare the crap out of those people.

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