Category: Birthdays

Just Your Average Trip to Target: A Photo Story

The Second Rate Kids have a birthday party to go to on Saturday. That means we needed to make a quick trip to Target for a birthday present. Yeah right. Quick. When will I learn?

What better way to dull the pain of shopping with the world’s 2 most enthusiastic Target shoppers than to document it here for you?!

First order of business; talking the 4-year-old out of a tantrum because she  reeaaalllyyy needed a butterfly pinata, just because.
First order of business; talking the 4-year-old down from an impending tantrum because she reeaaalllyyy needed a butterfly pinata. You know, just your typical impulse buy. 
Here’s the 2-year-old belting out Miley Cyrus’ “Party in the USA” at the top of her little lungs. You haven’t truly lived until you’ve heard a toddler sing the phrase, “Movin’ my hips like yeah”.
Yeah. I always feel like dancing in the dairy aisle too. Dairy brings out the inner dancing queen.
Yeah. I always feel like dancing in the dairy aisle too. Who doesn’t?!
Sometimes you've just gotta take a breather to gather your strength.
Sometimes you’ve just gotta take a breather to gather your strength.
Hiding in clothing racks is always a good time. I bet you can't even tell where she is...
Hiding in clothing racks is always a good time. I bet you can’t even tell where she is…
She fell in love in menswear. Her 2 new boyfriends were quite handsome but they really lacked a personality.
She fell in love in menswear. Her 2 new boyfriends were quite handsome, but I felt that they were lacking a personality.
And, of course, there’s always this. “Mom! Look at us! We are mannequins! Take our picture!”.

In the end, we survived the trip, got the birthday gift, and even picked up a pair of swim trunks for Second Rate Dad. Bonus; they made a few people laugh and probably reminded a few others to pick up their birth control refill at the pharmacy.

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Birthdays and Other Crap

Today is my birthday. It’s not a big one. Just boring #36. I was thinking about what I wanted to spend my birthday doing, and I realized that the main component to every blissful scenario I came up with was a universal lack of needing to wipe someone else’s ass for the day.

Somewhere in the time/space continuum 21-year-old me just made this face.
Somewhere in the time/space continuum 21-year-old me just made this face.

As time goes on, the things you long for change so much. I’ve known this for many years, but there’s nothing quite like having a couple of kids to really drive that home for ya. 21-year-old me wanted to stay up all night partying and drinking with her friends to celebrate the occasion. 35 going on 36-year-old me mostly values solitude, peace, and pampering during this particular season of life. But let’s be honest, it still involves a drink or 3. It makes me wonder what the hell 85-year-old me is going to want to do to commemorate the occasion?

“Thanks for the cake Mr. Whiskers. I hope the vanilla frosting isn’t too spicy.”

Or, God willing, what 100-year-old me will be longing for?!

If I'm being completely candid, 100-year-old me wouldn't give a furk. Smoke 'em if ya got 'em!
If I’m being completely candid, 100-year-old me wouldn’t give a ferk. Smoke ’em if ya got ’em!

So on this birthday I choose to celebrate the season of life I currently find myself in while remembering seasons past, and anticipating seasons to come.

Back when birthdays were pure magic! Cake, ice cream, and presents! The stuff childhood dreams are made of.
Back when birthdays were pure magic! Cake, ice cream, and presents! The stuff childhood dreams are made of.
Ah, birthday #18. This wholesome moment was followed up with a trip to the tattoo parlor (Do people still say tattoo parlor?? Sounds so 1930.) for some fresh ink.  Nothing but good decisions are made when you're 18, right? :-P
Ah, birthday #18. This wholesome moment was followed up with a trip to the tattoo parlor.  (Do people still say tattoo parlor?? Seriously. I felt 80 when I typed that.) Nothing but good decisions are made when you’re 18, amiright? 😉  (P.S. Hello tan! Damnnnnn!)
The 21st birthday. Why yes, that IS a driver's license stuck to my forehead. Because, 21.
The 21st birthday. Why yes, that IS a driver’s license stuck to my forehead. Because, 21.
Birthday #29 came with an engagement ring! Hooray!
Birthday #29 came with an engagement ring! Hooray! I think every birthday should come with expensive jewelry. Wouldn’t that take some of the sting out of aging? 😉
#30 was the last birthday before kids.
#30 was the last birthday before kids. Don’t I look well rested? 30-year-old me still got to pee alone. Lucky.

Birthdays are a fun time to reflect on the past and ponder the future. Maybe it won’t seem so fun to “ponder” when birthday #40 rolls around in 4 years. (YIKES!!!) But for now, I’m not sad about getting older. The older I get the more confident I become in my own skin, and that’s not a bad feeling. Besides, I’m pretty sure I’ll be one bad-ass old lady some day. Well, at least I’ll think I’m pretty bad-ass.

This lady seems pretty cool.
This lady seems pretty cool.
photo 2 (11)
They seem like a couple of feisty gals.

How do you feel about turning a year older? Does it make you sad, mad, glad? Share your thoughts with me.

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